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Mental Health | Bullies
Speaking Up for Myself
Finding my voice in a competitive family environment has been difficult but I’m making progress.
“I would like to talk to you about something that’s been on my mind.”
“I need time for myself right now.”
“What you said about me is not true.”
Speaking up is communicating publicly, assertively, and honestly for the rights and needs of myself and others. Speaking up helps to ensure I am not ignored or forgotten. It’s also an exercise of boundaries showing people what I will and will not accept. People generally speak up to protect a boundary or value. Not speaking up or not being allowed to speak up has negative impacts. Unfortunately, the culture in my family did not find young women advocating for themselves socially acceptable. Whenever I did, I was shushed and scolded for not complying with the role of quiet, Asian daughter. I did not feel safe in my family to express my true feelings and needs.
When I don’t speak up for myself, I erode my sense of self-worth. I become engaged in a cycle of rationalizing behavior that takes me further away from my values and from the person that I want to become. What I’m responding to is the social threat that I’ll have to choose between…
