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Mental Health | Trauma
How Trauma Impacts Friendships
Limerence, trauma, and dysfunctional patterns take my energy away from healthy friendships
Over the years, I’ve had friends come and go in my life. That seems natural. People are close when they have many things in common and they tend to drift apart when one or both move to different cities, jobs, or schools. I’m envious of those who have friend groups dating back to kindergarten, grade school, high school, and college. I wonder how nice it must be to have a close and stable group throughout one’s life. However, I realize that I faced some significant challenges when it came to friendships, and that is my history of trauma and limerence. Trauma can cause the following issues, which can impact one’s ability to form and maintain friendships: avoidance behaviors, trust issues, difficulty expressing needs, hyper-vigilance, mood instability, and triggers and flashbacks.
My main problem with friends is avoidance. While I love spending time with friends, I also need a lot of alone time as I heal from my past. Therapy work takes a lot of emotional energy which takes away from what I have to give to friends. Previously, I also had some dysfunctional patterns such as limerence and pressure from my family that distracted me from focusing on healthy…
