Insecurity and fears of abandonment color my relationships because my Asian parents weren’t emotionally available — I have struggled in romantic relationships to feel secure and be emotionally available to my partners. I believe this is because I didn’t have emotionally available parents growing up, and I realized after several unsuccessful relationships that I was missing a lot of the vital ingredients required to build a…

I overcame feelings of being alone and empty which stemmed from a lack of emotional guidance from my parents — “If you start feeling overwhelmed, just call me and we’ll arrange something. You are not alone.” It was my last session with my therapist before I returned home for the holidays. I was excited to be going home, but I was also anxious because I found my parents’ household stressful…

I experienced limerence several times and am resolving my confusion and embarrassment about it — Limerence is an infatuation or obsession with someone, according to Marissa Moore. It starts out as a romantic attraction, which involuntarily crosses into intrusive thoughts, fantasies, and ruminations about the person. People caught up in limerence find themselves unable to stop thinking of the other person to the point it…

By realizing that I’m the emotionally unavailable one — I had a repetitive compulsion problem where I kept gravitating towards emotionally unavailable men. They were either not interested and I kept pursuing them despite their lack of interest, or they were interested but only in something casual. They would not be able or willing to commit to something more…

I accept my mother’s limitations and work towards letting go of my resentment of her. — It’s 1:43 pm. I get into the car with my mother to go to the grocery store. The drama starts as soon as I put my seat belt on. My mother refuses to wear her seat belt. I tell her that it is illegal to ride in a car without…

I’m healing from the negative patterns I developed due to being surrounded by a competitive family environment. — I grew up in a very competitive family so being the best in tangible achievements was a big pressure growing up. The family cared about who went to the best college and got the highest paying jobs, who drove the most high-end cars and had the most expensive cell phones…

Finding my voice in a competitive family environment has been difficult but I’m making progress. — “I would like to talk to you about something that’s been on my mind.” “I need time for myself right now.” “What you said about me is not true.” Speaking up is communicating publicly, assertively, and honestly for the rights and needs of myself and others. Speaking up helps to…

The home I grew up in was dysfunctional and chaotic. Now I’m creating a happy home for myself. — Since I’ve realized that I was raised in a very dysfunctional and negative home, I’ve made it a goal to create a happy home for myself. What does that look like? I didn’t have many examples from my childhood so I’ve had to look for clues in the homes of…

I grew up being criticized daily. Now I’m changing my internal thought patterns to be more positive — “You are doing it wrong! You are useless!” I would watch my mother criticize my father as they stood in the kitchen cooking together. She would carry on with her criticisms and nitpicking while my father tried to defend himself. I watched as my father got more and more frustrated…